We Dream of Space by Erin Entrada Kelly

Author:Erin Entrada Kelly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2020-03-22T16:00:00+00:00

IF, THEN

If he’d stayed home from school, then none of this would have happened.

If Amanda had called him by the right name, then he never would have popped off.

If Vern hadn’t annoyed him with his endless chatter, then maybe he wouldn’t have been in such a terrible mood.

If, then. If, then.

You could if, then for the rest of your life, but it didn’t change now. And right now, here he was, sitting across from his mother in the living room. He couldn’t remember the last time it was just the two of them. According to the clock above the television, he should be sauntering into third period, ticking off the minutes until dismissal. Instead he was trapped on the couch with his mother—who wanted to “have a talk”—and the wayward stacks of junk mail that were never put away.

Let’s hear it, Fitch thought. Let’s hear how inconsiderate I am.

Here’s the funny thing, though: he knew he was in the wrong. He knew how cruel he’d been. But he was still angry. Not at himself, not at Vern, not even at Amanda Piper. At this moment, he was angry at his mother. He didn’t understand why. Maybe it was the way she was sitting here, leveling him with a look of utter disappointment on every inch of her face.

“I don’t understand what’s gotten into you,” she said. “How could you do that to someone? You had such a big heart when you were a kid. I’m completely baffled.”

Fitch focused on the scattered mail next to his mother. Some of the threads were loose in the couch cushion.

“You know we don’t condone that kind of talk,” she continued.

Fitch’s mind ticked backward to that very morning. Great way to start the day, Mike! Real mature! And the word his father had used when he unlocked the car door.

Grown-ups were such hypocrites.

He wanted to say that, wanted to say it right out loud, but he suddenly felt like one huge cement block. Unable to speak or move. Let her think what she wanted. He knew the truth. He wouldn’t speak a single word. Not a word. What difference did it make?

“Don’t imagine for one second that you’re spending any time at the arcade while you’re out of school,” she said.

He’d been suspended for three days. The first time any of the Nelson Thomas children had been suspended, his mother made sure to point out. As if he didn’t already know that.

His parents had a habit of pointing out things that he already knew.

His mother leaned forward, bowed her head, and rubbed her temples. “You boys cause so much stress. I need a vacation.”

Fitch thought of his locker. How he’d wished it would turn into a portal and carry him off somewhere.

“Are you done?” he said. “I wanna go to my room.”

Seconds passed. She didn’t look up.

“Go,” she finally said.

So he did.

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